


Gradual

by elegantwings, orphan_account



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-22
Updated: 2012-05-22
Packaged: 2017-11-05 20:25:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/410661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elegantwings/pseuds/elegantwings, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Glimpses of Derek and Stiles's beginning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gradual

When Stiles and Derek start hanging out, it's casual and normal. Everyone expects heavy silences full of unsaid things and meaningful looks, or maybe intimidation and little half-fights, but it begins quite differently.   
Which is why Derek is confused.

They watch tv together or sometimes Derek reads or writes while Stiles plays video games, talking to the television. Derek prefers solitude and quiet. He enjoys the aloneness of it all. He shouldn't smile when Stiles lets out a peal of laughter or yells at the characters on the screen as if they can hear him. He shouldn't want to scoot closer until their ankles lightly touch or shoulders brush when Stiles fidgets. Derek should find this all intrusive. Stiles is interrupting him, disrupting his life and the way he is.   
It’s not a secret. He cocks his head to the side and unapologetically announces that he prefers being alone. He gives Stiles a little speech about how it shouldn't be taken personally, but he just really does better on his own and sometimes that's how it will be. Later he wonders why he bothered giving the speech at all because he doesn't warn people like that. He doesn't create a soft place or any give within his connections. People are either okay with how he is and put up with it or they're not and they leave.   
It's not like Stiles looks at him reverently and nods in understanding anyway. Derek isn't sure what he expected, but Stiles beams at him and pokes him in the chest. Then he says, "Yeah, yeah, I know. Brooding lone wolf. It's cool."   
Then the kid flops down onto the couch and starts flipping through a book like it's nothing. Derek feels frustrated but mostly, he feels confused because he finds he doesn't really care that much at all. 

Stiles shows up armed with junk food and games or DVDs. Sometimes he brings books for Derek and once he even shoves a leather bound journal into the man's chest and blurts out, "You know, for stuff you want to say or copy down or whatever you have swimming around in your wolfy brain..." and he seems a little more awkward than usual, a little more on edge. It takes Derek a few minutes to realize that Stiles was acting shy. He was almost embarrassed to give Derek the journal. Nothing in the wolf's life makes any sense anymore. He makes another speech, he doesn’t do gifts, Stiles better not be expecting anything back. Stiles looks at him strangely like the thought never occurred to him and laughs, claps him on the shoulder and exclaims, “Derek Hale, Moment Killer.” 

Derek grumbles but he runs his fingers over the leather more than once that day. 

Sometimes Stiles uses Derek's kitchen. He tries making quiche twice before Derek stops him on the third attempt and hands him a beer, shoving him at the counter ordering, "Sit. Shut up." then taking over. Stiles sits on the counter and tells Derek about a Wikipedia article he'd read the night before while the older man cooks. Stiles laughs at his own jokes and he uses one hundred words when ten would do, but there's a cadence to it that fills Derek with something he can't name. 

They play Scrabble and bicker over rules and word possibilities before Derek finds himself online one night ordering the official dictionary. Stiles laughs long and hard when Derek tosses it onto the floor between them during the next game and they spend the next hour pouring over it together. Nothing in Derek's life has made any real sense since Stiles arrived. 

They go for walks together.   
Stiles talks the entire time and he trips over exposed roots and picks up rocks to examine them. Then one day Derek asks if he can walk alone and Stiles deflates a little but shrugs and says, "Yep! I need to try out this new game anyway."   
Derek enjoys the first five minutes but then the forest feels too quiet, and he feels almost restless. He turns around and walks back to the house. Stiles grins wide when Derek enters and exclaims, "Dude! I'm glad you're back soon, I have the GREATEST idea..." 

It's casual and gradual and they share secrets over failed quiche and abandoned games of Scrabble. Sometimes Derek says things then wonders why he said them. He has no idea when he let his guard down or how this happened, but he's open and full of things he has no definition for when he's with Stiles. The younger man doesn't even flinch or pause, he listens and smiles and treats Derek's stories like he's some sort of raconteur sharing comedic, holy secrets. Sometimes it's something simple, like how Laura would sing when she washed dishes or how he was upset as a kid that he could never own a pet cat.   
Stiles always laughs in delight and a few times he tells Derek how humbling it is to be the one on the receiving end of his stories and thoughts.

They spend an entire night building a giant house of cards. By three in the morning they've been reduced to tears each time the thing collapses on them. Derek abruptly realizes then that he's enjoying himself and he's not thinking about what to say next or how to deflect the next question. He hasn't had this in years.  
He opens up the journal the next day, planning on putting something meaningful into it. Instead, he stares at the blank page for ten minutes before growling and scrawling out one word, "What?"  
It's exactly what he wants to know. What? What is happening, what is going on, what is this.

There are now meaningful silences and glances between Stiles and Derek. They are weighted and full. They don't weigh Derek down, though. They anchor him, they make him smile; and they feel comfortable and full of potential.   
Now he makes quiches and plays games. His solo sojourns into the forest last half as long, and he hurries back to see Stiles grin and hear him talk.   
Derek learns that there can be light and joy in the heavy unsaid things. Joy can be found in meaningful looks or secrets that are danced around. It doesn't have to be dark or weigh him down. It can anchor him to a smile.  

Derek is confused when he and Stiles seamlessly fall into this, whatever it is, this friendship unlike anything he’s ever had before. But, Stiles isn’t. Stiles who seemed to hate him from day one, who smelled like fear and irritation and an overwhelming scent of sadness and loss that hung over him like a blanket. Derek was well acquainted with the feeling. Maybe that’s where all this came from. Stiles’ smell wormed its way under Derek’s skin and blended in with his own, so that now all Stiles smells like is home and good and sunlight in the morning. 

But Stiles is just like that. His moods change but there’s still his overwhelming Stilesness that makes Derek want to scream, and throw him out of his life, because it’s good, and it’s healing, and Derek had spent so much time working to keep everyone out. 

It’s loud and noisy and sometimes Derek’s heart hurts with it, but sometimes he holds his hand over Stiles’ mouth and together they just breathe, and that’s good, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by Rosali (elegantwings) who also co-wrote parts and put her own love into it. 
> 
> I was drunk when I wrote this. All thanks go to drunk!me.


End file.
